vietnamese roots

i just came back from the mekong delta region and a visit with some of my family in vietnam.  part of that visit was going to an engagement party for my cousin.  we woke up at 3 am and took a 4 hour car ride, some of it through absolutely beautiful countryside.  when we finally reached the soon-to-be-bride's house, we got out and proceeded to do the traditional things such as presenting gifts and offerings to her family.  then the non-elders (including myself) were pushed outside and told to just sit and have tea while the elders did their thing.  when that was done, we were treated to a 6-course feast that included some of the best seafood in my life.  turns out that her family raises fish and seafood as a business.  but after the meal, we just stood up and left.  the whole event was over before 11 am. 

but that was the end of my weekend down in the delta.  the rest of it was spent with my family there, talking and visiting.  i visited my grandfather, who barely knows who i am.  he thought that i was his daughter when i first arrived.  then, after telling him i was his son's daughter, he nodded his head.  i don't know whether this is because he really knew who i was or because he just wanted me to stop trying to get him to know.   he had a stroke a few years back and since then, as sort of been just living.  it's hard because i feel as though i should know this man, but i don't.  what i know about him, i don't like and so it's hard to feel attached.  and then, when i left, it was hard not to think of it as most likely the last time i will ever see him. 

it was also hard to say goodbye to my mom's brother and his family.  they've been very nice to me and allowing me to stay at their home.  they're good people and struggle through everyday life like every vietnamese family.  they talk about how hard it is to let their only son move out to go to college in the city.  they talk about how they hope he can get into a program that will allow him to study in quebec or france (he speaks french fluently).  they talk about how life is tough now for some other relatives because of bird flu (they raise duck eggs).  but they also talk about how nice it is to live in the delta, compared to saigon.  how they hope to go to visit america sometime. 

the trip to the delta was good.  especially on the last weekend that i will be in vietnam.  now i feel as though i have tied loose ends, and begun my journey back home - whereever my home may be.